Sunday, July 13, 2014


Something no one ever mentions about growing up is the sudden appearance of skin tags.

I shouldn't be surprised.  Everyone older than me has them.  (And unfortunately for you, I am the sort of person who would notice.)  Still, it intrigues me that my body is celebrating age thirty-two by sprouting extra bits of tiny round flesh on my eyelids, nose, arms, and... other parts.


Instead of growing taller as a whole, my body will now grow out in just a few places?

Because plucking, picking, painting, shampooing, flossing, brushing, scrubbing, and self-breast-examming isn't enough maintenance -- I should throw in general worry about pimples that won't pop?

Speaking of pimples, what's with those?  How come I'm still getting them?  Shouldn't one skin issue come to a nice, gratifying stop before the next one begins?

Tonight I discovered the ultimate slap to the face.  On my face.  A pimple growing BENEATH a skin tag. What the what?  Right on the bridge of my nose.  I could tell it was a pimple because it hurt like one, but I knew it was a skin tag too because I've been staring that thing down for like four months now.

I let it sit all morning, but after a hot shower it was throbbing and I wanted it GONE.  (I know I know.  You're "supposed" to leave these things alone.  But this is from the same people who tell you to wear sunscreen when you're in the sun.  Whatever.)  So I tried to pop it.  Ow!  Bleepity-bleep!  I tried a few different angles.  Nothing.  All I managed to do was irritate my skin and decorate it with little fingernail dents.

It was time to call in the Big Boys: my sewing needle.  I first sanitized it wiped it on my shirt, then set to stabbing my raw forehead.  Unfortunately that little sucker was hard to locate, buried there beneath the vastness of this particular mound of unwanted flesh.  I had to stab it in three different places to get anything to come out.  Which means that my irritated, acne-dotted face is now also bleeding in three different places.

That feels like success to me.

Courtney - 1.  Skintagpimple - 0.  Bring it on, aging!

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